A week and a half ago I developed flu like symptoms that all came to a head on February 27th.. That meant I had allow someone else to lead the morning service. The entire service focussed on worship. The elders read the message I had prepared. Many said it was the best service in a long time. I had to miss it!! The flu symptoms persisted. After waiting several hours I saw a doctor on Tuesday and again on Friday. Both suggested I had a slight infection. Today I saw my personal doctor who took one look at my chest x-rays and confirmed I have bilateral pneumonia. Fortunately I had already started on antibiotics.
When I woke up on Friday morning I discovered I was short of breath. That persisted through the next few days. The disconcerting part of the whole ordeal was the unknown. My initial prayer sounded more like a cry for help. ‘What on earth is going on, Lord?’ In the busyness of talking to the Health Link and waiting to see a doctor I did not take time to open my Bible. I should have taken it with me as I had two and a half hours waiting to see the doctor!!! On Sunday afternoon I opened to the book Psalms. I was amazed how the writers expressed the very questions and frustrations I was experiencing. ‘Lord lead me to the rock that is higher than I’ Psalm 61:2. ‘My soul wait in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation., my stronghold. I shall not be greatly shaken’ Psalm 62:1, 2. ‘Blessed be the Lord who daily bears our burdens’ Psalm 68:19. ‘Oh God, do not remain silent, do not be still’ Psalm 83:1. ‘For the God is a sun and shield. The Lord gives grace and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly’ Psalm 85:11. There were a number of others that encouraged me such as Psalm 85:8-13 or Psalm 91:14-16, a Psalm I had memorized as a child.
It took sometime but the peace of God that defies explanation did return. I climbed back onto the rock as it were and was able to let go of my questions and uncertainties not only about my shortness of breath but the ongoing symptoms of Parkinson’s. These last episodes have really challenged the way I pray. I find myself asking Jesus again and again ‘Teach me how to pray but that’s for another blog!