One of the struggles I face on a daily basis is trying to determine which symptoms are the result of Parkinson’s and which aches and pains come from normal aging or the effect of everyday life. Case in point, on Tuesday evening I came down with a sore throat and a coughing spell that lasted well into the night. I experiences chills and muscle spasms from the constant hacking. As I turned out a had a severe case of the flu but I could not distinguish between flue symptoms and some new symptom of Parkinson’s. Did my condition make the flu symptoms more severe? If so how could I lessen them and prevent them in the future? I fortified my system with Oil of Oregano and Echinacea. I had no appetite and I found my body losing strength. We had prepared a special worship service for Sunday morning but it became apparent I would not be able to attend. I had to turn everything over to my very capable associate. For me that became another check mark of things that would change in the future. As I recall that would mark only the second, non scheduled time I could not fulfill my role as pastor.
Some people reported back Sunday was the best worship service ever and I had to miss it. Latter that evening as I sprawled on the couch watching a program in which the host interviewed individuals at an airport as they waited for a loved one to arrive or depart. One individual anxiously waited for his wife to arrive from Ireland. When asked why her homecoming was so special the husband shared how his wife had stood by him during a very difficult time in his life. Over a period of fifteen years he had watched his dad die of Parkinson’s. Ouch! That word literally came right out of my mouth. When the son regained his composure the host asked him to describe those fifteen years. With tears in his eyes the son described how his dad faced mobility issues but even more difficult to watch was the onslaught of dementia. With those symptoms came all sorts of phobias. When his dad finally passed away the son cried for four months. I lay there completely stunned and numb. I glanced at my wife who struggled with her own emotions. This is what we have to look forward too? I felt so alone, so afraid. I desperately tried to pray and asked God to please rise up someone to stand with me.
It is Tuesday morning. The flu symptoms still linger. I coughed almost the entire night last night – flu or Parkinson’s or a combo of both? Our theme for Sunday is Prayer for Personal needs. How many individuals face the same struggles I do? God please stop this insistent cough! Please! Cough! Cough! Many have given up on prayer and on God. I do not want to go there. God help me find the answers and please give my body a break!